Are You Guilty of False Guilt?

By Guest Author Kim Gibbs

It’s amazing how often we feel guilty when we shouldn’t. Times when we haven’t broken a law, or violated our personal code of ethics, or hurt anybody’s feelings, yet we still feel guilty.

This is called false guilt. This type of guilt is something we impose on ourselves even though there’s no evidence of wrong-doing. It’s self-inflicted, unhealthy and totally undeserved. It’s also rampant, especially among women.

One of the major sources of false guilt is taking time for ourselves. Whether it’s spending more time at work, in the saddle, soaking in the bathtub, or pursuing our goals, we tend to feel guilty because more time spent on ourselves usually means less time with our family.

Most of us live by the Christian ideal of putting others first. But putting others first doesn’t mean that we have to go last. It doesn’t mean neglecting our own spiritual, physical and emotional needs. Those must be met in order for us to be healthy and happy. 

The better care we take of ourselves, the better care we can take of others. Otherwise, we’re no good to anybody. There must be a balance between the time we spend on others and what we spend on ourselves. We can put others first without putting ourselves last.

There’s nothing wrong with working, riding, or taking long baths and no reason to feel guilty about doing them. We just need to make sure our peace of mind and family relationships don’t suffer as a result.

If relationships are suffering, then we need to rearrange our time schedule to accommodate both self and family. Many people take advantage of early mornings and late evenings for guilt-free time. Others eliminate frivolous, unnecessary activities in order to make room for the more important ones.

So the next time you’re feeling guilty, check to see if you’ve even done anything wrong. If not, then get rid of that guilt and plow ahead. If so, rearrange your time and do the best you can with what you’ve got. No one’s life is perfect and there’s no reason for you to be guilty of false guilt!

About the Author: Kim (left with her horse Dusty) uses cowgirl wisdom to guide women through guilt. For more strategies on overcoming guilt, visit www.theguiltguide.com or contact Kim at info@theguiltguide.com or 406-240-7882.

© 2010 Kim Gibbs, Speaker/Author/Cowgirl.