Top 7 Reasons Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work - Part 1

(and what to do about it - - I'm not gonna leave you hanging!)

By: Victoria Cook

Have you broken your New Year’s resolution yet? If so, you’re not the only one. Studies suggest that 25% of resolutions are broken within the first month of the New Year.

I was listening to the radio the other morning and heard the following list of the top 7 resolutions most often broken:

7) Be a better person
6) Relax more
5) Learn something new
4) Stop drinking so much
3) Spend more time with family
2) Follow my dreams (do something more fulfilling)
1) Lose weight

These are all good resolutions, so why is it that the majority of folks who set them don’t accomplish them? Here are the first three of my Top 7 reasons why New Year Resolutions don’t work and what to do about it:

 

1. They are usually the same resolutions made year after year and never kept. Consciously you say things will be different this year. This is the year you will turn things around, but subconsciously you already know you aren’t likely going to get it done. Until the conscious and subconscious are in alignment, the subconscious will always win.

Joe Vitale really concisely articulates this point when he said, “When your conscious mind thinks you want something but your subconscious mind thinks you don’t deserve it (or any other limiting belief), you will fail at getting what you want. Instead you will actually attract what your subconscious feels is right for you.

In order to attract what you prefer, your conscious and subconscious have to be in agreement.”

TIP: Not sure if this is the cause of your struggles? Take my complimentary Mindset Mastery Assessment.

2. Not a powerful enough WHY. Most resolutions are made in response to something negative - a habit or situation you want to change or end. It’s really tough to develop momentum from a negative response. Harvard-trained psychologist Dr. Stephen Kraus states, “The motivating power of any goal comes from truly understanding *why* you want it. But most resolution-makers don't think through their underlying motivations.

Just wanting to lose ten pounds for its own sake may be a fine goal, but it won't be enough to motivate you when you have to make sacrifices or suffer a setback.

But you'll have that motivation if you know that getting in shape will mean having more stamina for playing with your kids, or going on a big hiking trip with your friends.”

Tip: Not too sure about your own "WHY"? Register for my complimentary Big Goals No Guilt 30 Day Challenge and I'll walk you through some exercises designed to help you begin uncovering the answer to this question!

3. Unreasonable expectations – Here’s where the guilt comes in! Whether you are trying to conform to the expectations of others or an overly high self-imposed standard, the result is the same - - frustration and guilt.

Feeling pulled by the expectations of others is often due to not knowing what you specifically want for yourself or family. If the unreasonable expectations are self-imposed, it can be caused by not having a balanced view your life. This occurs when standards are set at one point in life and not adjusted for changes or circumstances that arise (change in work status, children, illness, etc).

This can create huge feelings of guilt making it difficult to forgive ourselves for not living up to the standards we’ve set. Sometimes those standards are impossible to achieve thus setting ourselves up for failure.

Tip: Take an objective look at your feelings of guilt to assess from where they are coming. If they are self-imposed, take some time to reflect on them. Do they align with your current season of life? If not, perhaps it's time to hit the rest button. If your guilt stems more from outside sources, it's time to set some new boundaries or reinforce the ones in place.

My next post will share the remaining 4 reasons and provide some additional tips for overcoming them!

Top 7 Reasons Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work - Part 1 © 2005 - 2010 Victoria Cook. All rights reserved.